Am I addicted to sex, porn and masturbation?

So, many people say they are addicted to sex/porn/masturbation on social media, some even told me so in real life.

If you think you are addicted to sex, here is what I learnt and unlearnt about "sex addiction".

Sex addiction is not

• have a lot of sex

• have a lot of sexual partners

• have high libido/sex drive

• masturbate a lot

• watch a lot porn/hentai

• take nudes/make home-made videos

• read a lot of erotica/erotic manga

• admire/draw r34/hentai

• have sexual fantasies that are "uncommon"

• engage in non-vanilla sex

• have sex with sex-workers/prostitute

• join sex club/orgy/sex party

---

What is sex addiction ?

Medical name :

• Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD)

• Out of Control Sexual Behaviour (OCSB)

• Hypersexuality

Sex addiction is the most debated addiction Psychiatrists are still debating if it is even an addiction. However, the consequences of sex addiction are REAL.

Sex addiction is the unhealthy obsession with sex. Not being able to stop even when they know it harms their job, relationships and themselves, physically and mentally.

---

How much sex is too much?

We are sexual beings and exploring sexual self is normal. We feel shame because society looks at it as "sinful" but

• masturbate a lot is normal

• having sex a lot is normal

• watching a lot of porn is normal

The issue is not the act itself, not the amount you do it but when, where, how and why you do it. Sex addiction is what I mention in "sex addiction is not" in a harmful way that they are constantly interfering with daily life.

---

sex addiction - why

Sex addiction is you doing it with harmful attitudes towards sex. Are you using sex as a tool or are you genuinely exploring your sexuality with yourself/partners?

• using sex as a temporary escape from anxiety, depression, irritability

• having sex even if it harms themselves and other people physically and mentally, relationships and marriage

• using sex to relieve a form of pain or stress, social isolation

sex addiction - when, where, how

Sex addiction is you doing it at inappropriate times, places and in risky ways. Again, the act itself is not wrong but when you do not have the public's, partners', colleagues' consent, it is inappropriate.

• exhibitionism/voyeurism, public sex

• phone sex, porn, cybersex, masturbate habitually when alone and can't control it

• having affairs, cheating knowing they put their relationships and marriages at risk

• constantly thinking about and look at porn when you are working

---

Cause of sex addiction

• traumatic experiences

• childhood relationship with parents

• underlying mental health conditions

• chemical imbalances in the brain

• lifestyle influences

• stress

• mental illness

• depression

• anxiety

• social isolation

Not all potential cause is underlying mental health condition or traumas.

---

NOT how to quit sex addiction

• clearing browsing history of porn

• deleting text to sexual partners

• hiding it to "protect" partners

• pretending to not have a problem

• living a double life so no one finds out

Because deep down you know and you do not want people around you to find out. Every misdirection is a betrayal of your body, mind and relationships, professional/personal. This is damaging in the long run to yourself and the people you love.

How to quit sex addiction

1. Admit there is a problem

2. Realise the lies you tell yourself

3. Learn about underlying reasons it

4. Know that you are not alone

5. Reach out to group support

6. Seek professional therapy

Sex addiction is a consistent unsuccessful effort to control sexual fantasies, urges or behaviours but it is possible :)

---

Also read "How much sex is too much sex?"